☮

I just want to be home

Right now, all I want is to be at home. I’m sitting in the car, being brought here and there and it’s pretty much turned into a lets meet every family member trip, other than when I was with on the island and when I go to Milano. Don’t get me wrong I love meeting family, but I feel like I have no say in what we do. I’m just told.. I have only chosen to go to Amsterdam. It’s also become an “Oma history trip” I don’t mind but I don’t need to visit and hear about every jobs she had.

I don’t know I just feel like I don’t have a say. I wish I were back on the island or hanging out with R and his son Levi. They’re younger and a lot more fun to be around. Or back in Amsterdam, sight-seeing. I was only there for a few hours.. And I wish I could have spent more time touring around.

We’re now sitting on the side of the road, so A can check her make-up, and she’s constantly checking her hair. I don’t understand why. All they do is talk in Dutch, so it makes is suck even more.

If i ever come here again I’m going to spend most of our time on the island. It’s beautiful there. Especially the ocean and the beach. Or stay in Amsterdam for a few days. If I weren’t going to Milano, I would have only come for a week.

I think this “Oma history trip” is more for her, even though she says it is for me. I guess to me it doesn’t matter to me where people were born, or jobs they had, or where they lived. All that matters is where they are now.

She’s talking in English again, but not for my sake. Majority of the time, she’s just talking to A. I feel like a mute because I barely talk.

I didn’t realize how many rules that have here. If you’re building a house, you have to paint the outside certain colours, and you have to ask the schools permission to take your kids out of school otherwise you can get a fine. It’s also illegal to drop out of school. You have to achieve a certain grade of education by 18 otherwise you keep going with school until you’re 22. Also you have to go to college I’m pretty sure.

Oma’s memory is slipping. In a matter of 2 hours, she asked me 4 times if I had talked to my parents. 3 of which were in a matter of 30 minutes.

I’m just frustrated and want some time to myself. That’s why I liked it on the island, I was alone for a few hours. Alone in the attic, with no one in the room next to me. I could just relax and enjoy the silence. Not the sound of Oma snoring.

I just want a day to relax. That’s all I want, maybe. Maybe I just want to be home, relaxing in the sun. (Which I have seen for maximum of 2 hours since I’ve been here. It’s gloomy.)

I think I might be getting sick. My hands were hurting last night, and my stomach feels a little uneasy. I also have a headache at the base of my skull. I hope that I don’t, but I can feel the stuffy nose coming. It wouldn’t be good if I got sick, then I’d be even crankier than I already feel.

When watching a movie, do not comment on every Damn aspect. Seriously I haven’t been able to hear a word from the actual characters. STOP STATING YHE DAMN OBVIOUS